A Couple Gems

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by The Sensible Millennial (I'll stop correcting you when you stop being wrong.) on Monday, 25-Feb-2013 18:48:41

I promise, I will compile a larger list soon. As infrequent and staggeringly awesome as my posts are, I owe you more. But I had to share these.

A small dorky boy was walking to class. On the way, a bully stuck out his foot and tripped him. "After school I'm gonna punch you in the face so hard umm... it'll hurt real bad!" the bully threatened.
Later, during lunch, a few kids were passing the dorky kid and said, "Hey, want to come see Twilight with us after school?"
"No thanks," the dork replied cheerfully. "I have to go get punched in the face!"

Also
Three fishermen were out on the lake with their lines in the water, talking about how they missed their friend. "It's too bad Billy Joe's wife wouldn't let him come on this trip with us," one said. The others agreed.
That night, they rought the day's catch back to their campsight to find Billy Joe with his sleepingbag laid out just as happy as you please. "We thought your wife wouldn't let you come," one friend said.
Billy Joe smiled widely as he explained:
"I got home last night and my wife put her hands over my eyes while I was watching TV. 'Guess who', she said and when she let me see her, she was dressed in some really sexy underwear! She whispered in my ear that she had been reading Fifty Shades of Grey, and had some new ides for the bedroom. So she guided me upstairs to our room and told me to tie her to the bed. I did, and she whispered, 'now do whatever you want'. So, I came here!"

Post 2 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Monday, 25-Feb-2013 20:04:12

Lol the second one got a chuckle out of me. :)

Post 3 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 26-Feb-2013 10:45:53

lol. second one is great, first i don't really see the funny side?

sounds more of an inspirational peace

Post 4 by Jack Off Jill (why the hell am I posting in the first place?) on Tuesday, 26-Feb-2013 14:19:49

The first one just makes me go heh. the second I liked.

Post 5 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Wednesday, 27-Feb-2013 17:34:08

The first one is just droll. Love the second one!

Post 6 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Wednesday, 27-Feb-2013 21:31:52

Can't say much that the others haven't. First one was rather dumb, second one very amusing.

Post 7 by TechnologyUser2012 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 01-Mar-2013 13:05:31

Second one was awesome! :)

Post 8 by Winterfresh (This is who I am, an what I am about. If you don't like it, too damn bad!!!) on Monday, 20-May-2013 7:59:39

First one was true not funny, just true. I'd rather get punched in the face than put myself through seeing twilight again. (Shakes head in shame at her dumb 17-year-old self.) Second one made me giggle.

Post 9 by Brooke (I just keep on posting!) on Monday, 20-May-2013 14:40:17

Lol! The second one was awesome!

Post 10 by LittleSneezer (The Zone-BBS is my prison, but I like it here.) on Monday, 20-May-2013 20:17:54

I liked the second one, too.

Post 11 by UniqueOne (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Friday, 07-Jun-2013 0:17:13

ha 2nd one! lol